Bell Rates... Stella Artois Cidre

type: Cider

origin: Belgium

ABV: 4.5%

location: Biergarten

served: 568ml bottle to a glass, over ice

"C'est Cidre, not Cider" the billboards claim, as the makers of Stella Artois try to convince us that their new product somehow transcends mere fermented apples, and is actually some sort of high-class, luxury drink that is the toast of Belgian high-society.

I'm not convinced.

It's a served-over-ice cider, and call me cynical all you like, but it's going to fit into the same bracket as Magners, Bulmers and Kopparberg. It's InBv's latest attempt at plugging a hole in their all-encompassing market strategy. It's a great BBQ cider, ideal for a lazy summer's evening, but it's not a Martini, or a fine bottle of Beaujolais... whatever that is.

It's cider. People in pubs will order it as such:

"Bottle of Stella cider please."

"Want a glass with ice with that?"

"Aye, please."

is how it's mainly going to play out.

That said, it does look good in a beer garden. The bottle is a fairly classy design, with a chunky, high-quality look, and a gold label that complements the colour of the cider well. Once poured (over ice) you get a refreshing, easy to drink pint, politely described as 'rounded'.

It's a cider that 'non-cider-drinkers' could probably drink quite easily. There's very little taste of alcohol, and very little aftertaste. There is a little bit of apple in there, but you need to be looking for it. It's not unpleasant by any means, but it's clear that InBev aimed directly for Magners with this one, and only missed the mark by a short way.

Smell: There's nothing bad to say about the aroma, but most of that has to come down to the fact that it hardly smells of anything. 2/4

Colour: A very Magners-like pale orange, but just a little bit paler, in my estimation - outdoing their Irish rivals in getting their watered-down Irn-Bru tone one step lighter than Magners itself. 2/4

Taste: Less sweet than Magners, with less aftertaste and less prominent flavours. Slightly acidic, but overall very drinkable due to its inoffensive nature. 2/4

Overall: Not bad, but not Magners. Slightly less of all the important bits (or at least the bits I use for ratings, anyway) and slightly more of the premium branding. 6/12


The 'Stella Artois' part of the name becomes clear when you consider all of this, as this really is the cider equivalent of Stella Artois Lager. It's got the same sort of characteristics as its namesake - generic, commercial, mass-produced - and will probably sell just as well. The marketing strategy might as well have been "Reassuringly Expensive" again... or just "More Expensive than Magner's" since everything else about Stella Cidre seems to have been developed using that as a yardstick.

It's disappointing that InBev just rolled out a generic cider, with no real uniqueness to it, stuck a familiar brand label on it and were satisfied with that. They could have created something new, launched a genuinely new product, with a genuinely new brand identity, but they weren't feeling adventurous enough.

The Premium over-ice cider market has a few 'big-guns', and Stella Cidre is a 9mm with '.44 Magnum' stamped on the side.


more info: http://www.stellaartois.com/cidre/

Bell Rates... Glencoe

type: Stout

origin: Scotland

ABV: 4.5%

location: house

served: 330ml bottle to a glass

Glencoe Organic Wild Oat Stout, to give the beer its full name, is produced by Traditional Scottish Ales near Alloa (it says Stirling on the bottle, but it's marginally closer to Alloa) and while the naming it after a part of the highlands is a slight example of geographic poetic license, at least the Alloa link gives them plenty of permit to the 'Traditional Scottish' part. Alloa was once one of the most prominent brewing towns in the British Isles, due to the high quality of the local barley and water - something that Glencoe Stout can draw upon to this day, but sadly, most of the breweries are now defunct or consumed by big-business corporations.

This isn't one of those corporate beer-by-numbers efforts though, and is clearly an independent operation, evidenced by the strong emphasis on 'organic' beer. While this label might attract people who read the Guardian, and concern themselves over whether the lentils in their soup were free-range or not, the important bit is this attention to organic ingredients results in a clean, light taste. Chocolate and roasted malt elements abound.


Smell: quite strong, but balanced, and just the good bits. 3/4

Colour: a dark caramel, inviting and warm 3/4

Taste: malty, quite sweet and with just a little bit of bitterness. Very smooth, very balanced and very clean - especially in the aftertaste. 3/4

overall: a good traditional Scottish-style stout; smooth, warm and flavoursome. 9/12



more info: www.traditionalscottishales.co.uk

Bell Rates... Bulmers Red Apple

type: cider

origin: England

ABV: 4.5%

location: house

served: 568ml bottle to glass, over ice

Right, to clarify who makes this product, it's HP Bulmer of England not Magners of Clonmel, Ireland. That might seem obvious to you, but in Ireland Magners is sold under the 'Bulmers' label, despite not having had anything to do with HP Bulmer for many years.

Outside Ireland, of course, the difference is obvious.

Anyroad, this is their 'Red Apple' limited edition cider, introduced at the tail end of 2010, and is an attempt by Bulmers to carve out every niche-within-a-niche they can. But who can blame them? The 'over ice' cider market has boomed in the last decade and it's Magners who've got the best market position.

Red Apple is a subtly different version of Bulmers' main product - which is clearly what they set out to achieve, so mission accomplished there. As the name suggests, the cider is brewed using red apples, and while some ciders don't have a lot of 'apple' taste left after the yeast is finished transforming all that juice to alcohol, this one does taste of apples, and red ones at that.

It's also very refreshing, which is the other must for this type of product.

Smell: apples! but quite faint and I think they've missed a trick by not going for the heavy-apple smell to reinforce the 'apple' label a bit more 2/4

Colour: again, I'd have preferred a more red colour - it's supposed to be a 'limited edition', so why not make it a bit more distinctive looking? 2/4

Taste: this is where it pulls the points back - refreshing, sharp, not overly sweet and with a definite red apple flavour. 3/4

overall: tastes just different enough to stand out from the crowd without being a 'speciality' taste that will alienate less adventurous drinkers, but not adventurous enough to carve out a new niche in an already crowded market. 7/12

Bell Rates... Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

type: Pale Ale

origin: California, USA

ABV: 5.6%

location: house

served: 350ml bottle to glass

In recent years American craft breweries have seen a growth in sales, and it has to be said that some of the most interesting and high-quality American beers are brewed in small batches by people who's focus is on quality, rather than on shareholders and Superbowl commercials.

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. is one of these craft breweries, and although they've expanded somewhat over the last 30 years, and their products are now sold all over the world, the beer is still brewed with the same ideals of quality.

It should be noted that this is an American Pale Ale, and thus differs somewhat from a British PA, due to the different hop varieties in use on the other side of the pond. My own feeling is that Sierra Nevada's effort isn't actually too far off a lager, possessed as it is of a rather sharp, almost acerbic taste, and while it's very hoppy, it's not overly bitter. The beer also has a complex range of fruity and flowery undertones and a herbal element that (after going through all the herbs in my spice rack one-by-one) i'd say wasn't far off thyme.

Smell: not very strong, and with only hints of the complex flavour coming through in the bouquet. A little bit of citrus.  2/4

Colour: an attractive rich amber.  3/4

Taste: complex, and very hoppy, but clean and not too bitter.  3/4

overall: an interesting beer - and while 'interesting' could be considered to be good or bad, this definitely sits on the side of 'good' interesting. A quality brew that proves that America can produce high-quality beer when they realise that good beer is a result of dedication and fine ingredients, and not a result of board meetings and advertising budgets.   8/12

more info: www.sierranevada.com

Bell Rates... Fuller's London Pride

type: Ale

origin: England

ABV: 4.7%

location: house

served: 500ml bottle to glass

Cor blimey guvnah, A pint of bitter and a plate of jellied eels please.

Actually... forget the jellied eels, i'll just have the beer.

And quite a good beer it is too. A premium ale from one of Britain's biggest independent brewers, London Pride ticks all the boxes for presentation, and comes across as being a quality product.

'Bitter' is obviously meant to be just that, but there's a line that has to be drawn before the point when a beer becomes too bitter to drink comfortably. Thankfully, Fuller's have kept London Pride's bitterness at a level that provides a good balance between strong flavour and ease of drinking.

Smell: Malty, but not too strong. Fairly balanced. 2/4

Colour: honey, copper. Warm and inviting. 3/4

Taste: Malty, light, smooth bitter, with hops becoming more evident in the aftertaste. 3/4

overall: a smooth, drinkable beer, with a good bit of character. 8/12

more info: www.fullers.co.uk

Bell Rates... Weihenstephan

type: Wheat Beer

origin: Germany

ABV: 5.4%

location: biergarten

served: 500ml bottle to glass

'The World's Oldest Brewery', the label proudly states. You'd need to assume they've been doing something right since ad 1040 - although how close to the original recipe this beer is, I can't rightly judge. 


That said, it does have the air of a 'traditional' product, one that doesn't feel it needs to appeal to a certain demographic, or change with the times to meet 21st century tastes, and fit in with a modern, Wi-fi, iPad, blogosphere, 24-hour-rolling-news-coverage, text-in-to-vote-for-your-favourite-singer, zeitgeist, dynamic paradigm. Whatever the hell that is.


In fact, it's quite the opposite.


It's a wheat beer, and it does what a wheat beer is supposed to do; it's refreshing, and a perfect complement drink for relaxing in a beer garden. It's quite a complex beer, but it goes well with food, especially with the relatively low carbonation. It's not here to fit in with your hectic lifestyle; it's here to let you take time out and relax for a while.

The traditional 'Hefeweizen' style is in full effect with Weihenstephan - it's not filtered, so all the yeast makes the beer very cloudy. The taste improves after the first few mouthfuls, I found, and the intricacies gradually make themselves known to the drinker as time passes.


Smell: a rich aroma, yeasty, and wheaty and how a wheat beer should smell. 3/4

Colour: very cloudy, as previously noted, but clean, and the overall look isn't far off a pale orange juice. 3/4

Taste: Not a lot of hops involved, so the bitterness is quite low, and the taste from them is quite subtle. It is, of course, a bit of a 'wet dog' flavour, but it's one of those beers where that works, in a strange way, blending well with th other flavours, and not overpowering any of them. The other flavours include nuttiness, a sweet, herbal mix, and of course lashings of wheat - it's not far off Wheetabix, in fact. A surprising Banana after-taste finishes it off. 3/4

Overall: not for everyone, but an excellent beer to go with sausages, banter and sunshine for those looking for a bit of a change from lagers and ales. A strong 9/12


more info: www.brauerei-weihenstephan.de

Bell Rates... Pilsner Urquell

type: Pilsner

origin: Czech Republic

ABV: 4.4%

location: Biergarten

served: 500ml bottle to a glass

  
The beer from which all Pilsners get their name, Urquell was first brewed in 1842 in Plzeň, in what is now the Czech Republic. Of course, 'Urquell' is German for 'primary source', which makes it sound a bit like spring water. The Czech name is 'Prazdroj', but SABMiller probably think that'd be a bit too difficult for the punters in the UK to pronounce - especially after they've had a few - so it gets the German translation. 

Since I've mentioned the brewery's parent company, this seems like a good opportunity to reflect on the brand identity and quality - and Pilsner Urquell has an enviable position. Few brewers can claim to have invented an entire style of beer, especially one so broadly accepted as Pilsner, so it immediately has a feeling of heritage and tradition. How much tradition is left after Miller's acquisition and modernisation is anyone's guess, but the corporate machine has either kept its distance or done a good job of concealing its meddlesome practices behind the premium branding. Urquell does deserve a 'premium' tag though, as it feels like a good quality product, and not just some corporate facsimile of one.


Having been named in the 19th century, the title probably wasn't the output of some business-school board meeting, nor a focus group. The name is quite well chosen though, as apart from the obvious meaning of 'primary source' as the beer that all Pilsner-styles are formed after, the spring water-sounding tag allows me to work in a nice link to the water used in the brewing.


Plzeň has really 'soft' water. For those unfamiliar with the term, it basically means that the water is very pure, and has less minerals in it than hard water. Now, companies trying to sell you bottled water may promote the fact that their product has lots of minerals in it, but while lots of minerals may be good for you if you're jogging or working in an office environment, lots of minerals in the water may not be great for brewing beer. 1


So, the local water is pretty celebrated, and the region is also notable for Saaz hops, which don't impart a lot of bitterness to the brew.




Smell: a slightly citrus aroma, balanced but not overly strong. a soft and bright, but largely unobtrusive smell, almost certainly due to the water and hops. 2/4


Colour: Urquell has a fairly ideal pale lager colour... although you'd expect it to, being the original that all the others have copied. With a golden sort of hue, it looks inviting enough, and not too artificial. 3/4


Taste: it's sharp and very hoppy - perhaps over-hopped for some - but not too bitter. The citrus smell carries over into a fruity taste, and the beer has a decent amount of body. Quite a lot of aftertaste, too. 3/4




Overall: a refreshing, drinkable beer, which is different enough to stand out from the crowd, but not so different that you need to go to a really snobby pub just to find it. 8/12





 1. or maybe it is, depending on the style, and if you're a brewer based in Burton-on-Trent or not.

more info: www.pilsnerurquell.com

Bell Rates... Stella Artois

type: Lager

origin: Belgium 1

ABV: 5%

location: Biergarten

served: from a 284ml bottle to a glass

Stella Artois... apparently it's 'Reassuringly Expensive', and apparently it also promotes domestic abuse. 

This review can sadly neither confirm these rumours, nor deny them, as the Stella I sampled for the occasion was left in my house2 at some point by a guest, and I'm not married.

What I can confirm, however, is that Stella is your basic mass-produced, commercial lager. It states that it's a 'Premium Lager Beer', but in the market segment Stella resides in, you can pretty much call anything you like 'Premium' and sell it on the price, rather than the quality. But let's not get too far into slating it at this early stage, there's still plenty of review left for that!

Smell: It presents a decent smell, with a hint of citrus, which is not too overpowering. Not that notable, odour-wise, but definitely not a bad smell. Fairly basic, basically. 2/4

Colour: I found Stella to be quite disappointing in the colour department, as it was slightly lacking, and it looked a bit watered-down, in essence. It edged slightly towards looking quite sickly and pale - but not pale in an attractive way, the way that a lager is supposed to look. no half-marks in this system, so it gets rounded down to 1/4

Taste: Pretty decent, and quite drinkable, all told. A bit over-hopped, and very bitter, but not in an unpleasant way. Some 'mainstream' lagers at around the 5% mark compromise taste for alcohol, but that's not so evident here, leaving it unremarkable enough to have a few pints and not get tired of it. Very little after-taste, but that probably works in its favour to a certain extent. 2/4

Overall, an easy-to-drink beer, and probably one of the best of the mass-produced, commercial lagers, actually. Stella is a viable option where choice is limited, and it's inoffensiveness would make it a good 'session' beer, if you were just out to get blootered. 

But then, I suppose that's the whole point of Stella, isn't it? 5/12

Notes

1. 'brewed in the UK', but it says 'Leuven, Belgium' all over the packaging.

2. Rule one of Bell's House: if you leave it in my house, it belongs to me. 


more info: www.stellaartois.com 

Fáilte

Just thought I'd write a quick introduction!

This blog, Bell Rates Booze, is an ongoing project to rate and review as many beers as possible. I'll also be rating other beverages as well, but mainly it'll be beer.

I have to admit... I've only recently learned to appreciate a good beer, and my 'tasting skills' probably need a bit of sharpening, but that'll hopefully happen over time. That's the main reason I'm compiling this; the more beers I try, the more I'll learn. It's all the name of education!

I'll be rating a mixture of beer types and varieties, from both the 'mainstream' brands and the smaller, or less well-known brweries. Of course, I'll probably go out of my way to sample some rare or obscure beers, just for the sake of variety... and so I can appear to be knowledgeable by name-checking things most people have probably never heard of.

Beverages will be rated on Smell, Colour and Taste, and scored out of 4 on each of these categories. This method will give a total score out of 12. the SCT scores will take several factors into account, depending on the style of beer, but will mainly come down to a wholly subjective 'do I like it?' question.

In addition, reviews will note the location, the serving method and, if appropriate, the occasion. The reason for this twofold: 1. a good beer, poured badly could easily be ruined, and 2. things may seem different due to various psychological factors. As an example of this, I've had Carling from a can, and hated it... I've had a pint in a pub in Newcastle, and hated it... but had a plastic cupful at a Status Quo gig and found it bearable. Clearly, the only explanation is that Status Quo rock so much, they even make fizzy pish like Carling taste semi-decent.