Bell Rates... Rekorderlig Peach & Apricot

type: Fruit cider
origin: Sweden
ABV: 4.0%
location: house
served: bottle to glass, over ice


Another addition to the seemingly endless varieties of fruit cider, Rekorderlig have brought us a blend of peach and apricot. I'd have expected those two fruits to end up in a chutney more than a cider, but experimentation is to be encouraged.

Rekorderlig must always draw a comparison to Sweden's other big fruit cider exporter, Kopparberg. Their ciders are generally less sweet (from my experience, anyway) than Kopparberg's offerings, and Peach & Apricot is no exception to that rule.

There's not much in the way of tartness, which i would have expected from the apricot, which could be a good thing. It's refreshing enough, but the flavour is a shade subdued. That said, too strong a flavour may have been overpowering. I do wonder if some extra spices fired into the recipe might have been beneficial, just to accent the flavours a shade.

Smell: fruity aroma, predictably! fresh, but not overly strong. 2/4

Colour: pale pinky-orange colour. peach, basically. 3/4

Taste: a subtle, but distinctive taste. refreshing, and not overly sweet. 3/4

Overall: different, and definitely worth a try. 8/12

Bell Rates... Stella Cidre Pear

type: Pear Cider
origin: Belgium
ABV: 4.5%
location: House
served: 568ml bottle to glass, over ice


So InBev have augmented their 'Cidre' with a pear version, presumably hoping to challenge Kopparberg's domination.

I can't really blame them. After all, their standard apple version is basically a Magners clone, with toned down flavour and colour, and Magners have a pear version (to try and challenge Kopparberg) so why shouldn't Stella?

Thus, we now have a Pear version - but shouldn't that be 'Poire', keeping with the French-language branding? Or, even better, 'Poiré' - which is the French name for pear cider.

Smell: As with the apple version, there's hardly any aroma at all. A slight hint of pear, but . 2/4

Colour: A very pale greenish-yellow. Actually looks a bit like weak soda water and lime, certainly more than it looks like cider. 1/4

Taste: Definitely less sweet than Kopparberg, and less flavoursome. About on a par with quite a few of the generic pear ciders, and definitely drinkable if no alternative exists. 2/4

Overall: No cider brand is complete without a pear version these days, it seems, but the Stella version is pretty generic. Another basic cash-in, rather than any attempt to make an interesting new product. 5/12
  
"C'est poiré, not pear cidre!"

Bell rates... Newcastle Summer Ale

type: Ale

origin: Newcastle, England

ABV: 4.4%

location: house

served: 355ml bottle to glass

I bought a couple of bottles of Newcastle 'Summer Ale' a few months ago. Today, a late-August afternoon, was truly representative of Scottish summer weather: periods of torrential rain, thunder and lightning and 11°C temperatures. Therefore, it seemed fitting to break out the 'Summer' Ale.

Fundamentally a blonde ale, the back label lists wheat among the ingredients, and I suspect a small portion of the grain bill was more heavily roasted than would be the average for a typical pale ale of this type. I didn't detect a great deal of maltiness, but there was a slight roasted element to what I did take from it.

The hop character is far more evident though, both in the aroma and the taste.

Smell - Very hoppy, with a slightly floral element. A slight alcohol smell is also evident, but overall pleasant. 3/4

Colour - A clean, clear copper, with a good, creamy, white head. 3/4

Taste - Bitterness is the main element here, with not a lot of maltiness, but the bitterness isn't overpowering, and the flavour is quite palatable. Good aftertaste. Light mouthfeel, sharp and refreshing. 4/4

Overall - It has to be said, if you're able to drink it in a time and place that than reasonably be classified as 'summer' then it's quite successful as a pleasant, refreshing tipple. Might make a good BBQ beer if you're able to get one lit befor the rain comes back on. 10/12

Bell rates... Lia Fail

type: Ale

origin: Scotland

ABV: 4.7%

location: house

served: pint bottle to glass

A dark ale from Inveralmond Brewery, Lia Fail conforms to the independent Scottish brewery template with the branding, with a highly-Scottish theme happening throughout. The name is Gaelic for 'Stone of Destiny', and the label features celtic knotwork and a scenic landscape scene.

This one was bought for me by famous film-maker and cage dancer Jaggy Jay. Well, not this bottle specifically, but I'm still grateful.

The ingredients are helpfully given on the reverse, and a portion of the malt seems to be wheat, and although it doesn't have much of a distinctive wheat character, clearly adds to the richness. The Hops are listed as Challenger, Fuggles and - American craft-brewer's favourite - Cascade. Three hop varieties, but they all seem to have been added early on in the mash, as they've not really imparted any aroma, but plenty of bitterness and flavour.

Smell - Somewhat lacking, both in hoppiness and maltiness.  2/4

Colour - A nice dark reddy-brown. Good clarity. Good off-white head. 3/4

Taste - Well balanced and rich, with a range of flavours developing. Dark chocolate coming through after the initial bitterness. Medium body. Loads of aftertaste, which is where the hops are most evident. 4/4

Overall - A good beer, only let down by the underwhelming aroma - especially given the hoppiness of the aftertaste. 9/12

Bell rates... Löwenbräu Original

type: Helles Lager

origin: Germany

ABV: 5.2%

location: house

served: 330ml bottle to glass

Löwenbräu ('Lion's Brew') Original is the export version of the Helles sold in Bavaria. Obviously, being an export version, it's going to be brewed to a slightly more broad-market standard, in the typical commercial manner.

Or is it?

Well, kind of. It's a better quality beer than most of the commercial rivals, especially since it's priced in with a lot of mass-produced generic stuff like Stella and Coors Light. Löwenbräu, at time of writing, is on special offer at Asda for £6.40 for 6 330ml bottles, which is a great offer, considering what you get for the money.

A slightly malty taste is evident, which differentiates it from most commercial beers - the adherence to the Bavarian Reinheitsgebot (the 16th century laws that prohibited using any ingredients other than water, barley and hops) resulting in a purity and quality that corporate brews can't readily match. No rice here, just proper Bavarian malt and Noble hops.

Smell - hops are evident, and give a good amount of character. 3/4

Colour - pale golden colour, very clean looking. 3/4

Taste - Quite bitter, but refreshing and clean. Good mouthfeel, good hop balance. 3/4

Overall - A good quality beer, especially at this price point. Highly recommended for just when you want a straight-forward, uncomplicated lager. 9/12

Bell rates... Thirsty Mongoose

type: Pale Ale

origin: Homebrew

ABV: ??

location: house

served: plastic bottle to glass

I was generously given a bottle of beer to sample by a work colleague. It's his first stab at homebrew, and I think he was a bit worried at various stages - as is common with first-time homebrewers - but it's worked out quite well for him.

It arrived in the familiar 'Coopers Homebrew' 500ml PET bottles, with no label, but a verbal instruction that it was named 'Thirsty Mongoose'. What relevance this name has is a mystery to me, but it's intriguing. I'm aware of a similarly-named lager, but have never sampled it. I'm not even sure what a Mongoose actually is, to be honest, but I'm aware that they kill snakes, and as a severe ophidiophobe, I'm therefore fully in favour of them.

But anyroad, back to the beer.

No idea what the ABV is, but it smells strong. Apparently the kit be bought didn't include a hydrometer, and being impatient, he didn't wait to get one before starting his brew. The thoroughly unscientific test of taking a reading (at the brewer's request) of the bottled proves nothing, but a specific gravity of 1.009 suggests that fermentation did take place, and it was reasonably successful.

Carbonation was a perceived problem, but the head is fine, and there were still plenty of small bubbles rising from the bottom of the glass after nearly 20 minutes of drinking.

The water used was very soft - I know this because he only lives about five minutes away from my house, and used the same tap water I get in my own kitchen. It's typically soft Scottish water, and while it's excellent for a lager, a Pale Ale often benefits from something a bit harder to bring out more flavours - but perhaps that's something to look at in the future? For now though, the beer is perfectly drinkable. So let's get onto the drinking:


Smell - a suggestion of potency is evident, but thankfully isn't enough to overpower the maltiness. No real hop aroma, which lets it down a shade. 3/4


Colour - a deep amber. good clarity, good carbonation. 3/4


Taste - malty, but no real additional flavours save for a hint of caramel, just a straightforward bitter. Decent body, no real hoppiness. 3/4

Overall - an auspicious start to a hopefully long and fruitful homebrewing career 9/12

Bell rates... Stella Artois... again

type: Lager

origin: Belgium

ABV: 4.8%

location: Carrick Stone, Cumbernauld

served: pint glass 

please note: the following review is transcribed from notes I took in the pub, while very drunk.

McGoooooooo, despite being a skinny, ginger, lightweight, stingy cockbag is buying me a pint of Stella Artois. This has been owed to me for over a year, due to me generously allowing his abhorrent soccer team (Glasgow Celtics) to win some sort of Cup last season. The photo of this is probably below.

So anyway, I previously rated Stellafrom a bottle. McGoooooooo was outraged and has boycotted the blog since since then, due to its realistically low score.

Smell – see how there's the 'wet dog' hop aroma? Aye, well this is a but further towards 'dog pish'. 2/4

Colour – quite green. Wtf is happening there? Probably why McGoooooooo likes it. Right sort of paleness, but it's probably down to rice. 2/4

Taste – more aftertaste than bottles, but it's not like it's a better taste than the bottles, so 2/4

Overall – nice glass. Decidedly average beer. Better on draught,  I will concede, but still not great. 6/12

Bell rates... Jennings Cumberland Ale

type: Pale Ale

origin: England

ABV: 4.7%

location: house

served: 500ml bottle to glass

As I've covered before, water is a very important factor in brewing, and the local water can impart distinctive flavours and characters to a beer. With that in mind, let's see what England's 'Lake District' has to offer, shall we?

Jennings have been brewing for almost two hundred years, and are currently part of the Marstons group, although the beers are still brewed in Cockermouth, Cumbria.

Cumberland Ale is a pretty distinctive pale ale, with plenty of character. The aroma on opening the bottle is powerful, but not overpowering, and gives a good indication of the level of malt used in the brew. The golden honey colour, too, is inviting, and while opaque enough to ensure a 'real ale' character, it still looks clean and crisp.

Flavour-wise, it's got plenty of character, and while not overly bitter, it's hopped just enough to add a citrus overtone to the main malt flavour.

Smell: plenty of good malty character, with a bit of hops. 3/4

Colour: warm golden yellow. 3/4

Taste: a fairly complex array of flavours, with the malt at the forefront, but with hints of citrus and nuttiness. distinctive and different. 4/4

Overall: an easy-to-drink ale that may take you by surprise. 10/12

more info: jenningsbrewery.co.uk

Bell rates... Oktoberfest 2011

event: Munich Oktoberfest
place: Theresienwiese, Munich, Germany
date: Sep 17 – Oct 3

The biggest beer festival in the world, Oktoberfest has been held almost every year since 1810 - only missing 24 years out of 201. We attended on Saturday 17th September and Sunday 18th, and had an excellent time on both occasions.

Having attended last year as well, I knew what to expect; great atmosphere, great beer (at high prices) and extreme difficulty in finding a seat unless you have a reservation.

The 'finding a seat' part is quite important, as you're unlikely to be served unless you're at a table. Last year we tried about four tents and their accompanying biergartens before we managed to squeeze in with some Dutch guys. This year, on the saturday, we managed to get into a tent in a closed-off section, which required a €3 entry fee (must have put a few tourists off as it was much quieter and we got a table no problem). €3 is quite reasonable, considering a table reservation has to be made well in advance and costs around €30. Beer served there was Augustiner, in proper stoneware steins, for an added authentic traditional element. Sadly, no tasting notes, and no individual review, as I lost my phone, so had no method of recording any details of the beer, and my memory was impaired by drinking strong Bavarian Lager by the litre.

Second day, Sunday, was very wet, and this seemed to put people off even more than an entrance fee, meaning the biergartens were all pretty much empty. We managed to get a table in the Winzerer Fähndl biergarten, serving Paulaner. Again, no tasting notes, but it went down well. Moved inside later, and enjoyed the band, who's ecclectic playlist included hits by Lynyrd Skynyrd and The Proclaimers.

Overall, the beer is great, and the atmosphere is great too. I'd recommend Oktoberfest to anyone who likes beer and a good time. make sure to take plenty of cash though, as a Maß (1 litre glass of beer) costs the best part of €10.

I'd also like to send my warmest regards to anyone I met, and also my apologies to them, as I no doubt rambled on and talked a load of pish. If you were there, I was the beard with an idiot attached, wearing a yellow Scotland shirt with 'Bell' and the number 76 on the back.

Especial shout out to Christine and her husband from Virginia, USA. Please send me some of your homebrew and I'll review it.

And so, onto the scores - this being an event and not an individual beer, it doesn't get the SCT rating, but instead an AVB... not to be confused with Alcohol By Volume, of course.

Atmosphere: Fantastic. Met people from all over the world, all of them out to have a good time. 4/4
Value: a Maß seems fairly expensive... and it is. But when you look at the volume of beer you're actually getting for the money, it equates to roughly £4.75 a pint, which isn't too unreasonable for a high-quality beer brewed specially for the festival. 3/4
Booze: Oktoberfest beers are generally Märzen lagers, brewed specifically for the Festival, although Weizens, wines and shots are available if you know where to look, so all bases covered. Beers generally excellent. 4/4

Overall: I'll be back next year, hopefully, and I'd encourage anyone to visit. 11/12

Bell rates... Guinness Original

type: Stout
origin: Ireland
ABV: 4.2%
location: house
served: 330ml bottle to a glass


There is some debate whether Guinness is a stout or a porter, and my good friend and mentor Mr AG McGhee BSc (Hons) insists that it is in fact a porter. Now, he's the biggest beer snob I know, and quite knowledgeable about alcoholic drinks made from fermented sugars... however it says 'Stout' on the label, so I'll rate it as such.

It should also be noted that the label on the back of this bottle also says 'Brewed in Dublin', which is important as the water used to brew the beer is one of the most important factors. Guinness brewed outside of Dublin is like the Irish football squad at the 1994 World Cup. Or one of those fake Irish theme pubs. It's just not the real thing.

This is though. Good body, good aftertaste, good aroma, great looks.


Smell: roasted barley and hops coming through nicely. inviting. 3/4

Colour: black, with the creamy-white head. It's iconic, and it gets a full 4/4

Taste: a pleasant variety of warm, dry, chocolatey, roast flavours. good level of hops and bitterness, good aftertaste. 3/4

Overall: superior to the foreign stuff. 10/12