Bell Rates... Pilsner Urquell

type: Pilsner

origin: Czech Republic

ABV: 4.4%

location: Biergarten

served: 500ml bottle to a glass

  
The beer from which all Pilsners get their name, Urquell was first brewed in 1842 in Plzeň, in what is now the Czech Republic. Of course, 'Urquell' is German for 'primary source', which makes it sound a bit like spring water. The Czech name is 'Prazdroj', but SABMiller probably think that'd be a bit too difficult for the punters in the UK to pronounce - especially after they've had a few - so it gets the German translation. 

Since I've mentioned the brewery's parent company, this seems like a good opportunity to reflect on the brand identity and quality - and Pilsner Urquell has an enviable position. Few brewers can claim to have invented an entire style of beer, especially one so broadly accepted as Pilsner, so it immediately has a feeling of heritage and tradition. How much tradition is left after Miller's acquisition and modernisation is anyone's guess, but the corporate machine has either kept its distance or done a good job of concealing its meddlesome practices behind the premium branding. Urquell does deserve a 'premium' tag though, as it feels like a good quality product, and not just some corporate facsimile of one.


Having been named in the 19th century, the title probably wasn't the output of some business-school board meeting, nor a focus group. The name is quite well chosen though, as apart from the obvious meaning of 'primary source' as the beer that all Pilsner-styles are formed after, the spring water-sounding tag allows me to work in a nice link to the water used in the brewing.


Plzeň has really 'soft' water. For those unfamiliar with the term, it basically means that the water is very pure, and has less minerals in it than hard water. Now, companies trying to sell you bottled water may promote the fact that their product has lots of minerals in it, but while lots of minerals may be good for you if you're jogging or working in an office environment, lots of minerals in the water may not be great for brewing beer. 1


So, the local water is pretty celebrated, and the region is also notable for Saaz hops, which don't impart a lot of bitterness to the brew.




Smell: a slightly citrus aroma, balanced but not overly strong. a soft and bright, but largely unobtrusive smell, almost certainly due to the water and hops. 2/4


Colour: Urquell has a fairly ideal pale lager colour... although you'd expect it to, being the original that all the others have copied. With a golden sort of hue, it looks inviting enough, and not too artificial. 3/4


Taste: it's sharp and very hoppy - perhaps over-hopped for some - but not too bitter. The citrus smell carries over into a fruity taste, and the beer has a decent amount of body. Quite a lot of aftertaste, too. 3/4




Overall: a refreshing, drinkable beer, which is different enough to stand out from the crowd, but not so different that you need to go to a really snobby pub just to find it. 8/12





 1. or maybe it is, depending on the style, and if you're a brewer based in Burton-on-Trent or not.

more info: www.pilsnerurquell.com

Bell Rates... Stella Artois

type: Lager

origin: Belgium 1

ABV: 5%

location: Biergarten

served: from a 284ml bottle to a glass

Stella Artois... apparently it's 'Reassuringly Expensive', and apparently it also promotes domestic abuse. 

This review can sadly neither confirm these rumours, nor deny them, as the Stella I sampled for the occasion was left in my house2 at some point by a guest, and I'm not married.

What I can confirm, however, is that Stella is your basic mass-produced, commercial lager. It states that it's a 'Premium Lager Beer', but in the market segment Stella resides in, you can pretty much call anything you like 'Premium' and sell it on the price, rather than the quality. But let's not get too far into slating it at this early stage, there's still plenty of review left for that!

Smell: It presents a decent smell, with a hint of citrus, which is not too overpowering. Not that notable, odour-wise, but definitely not a bad smell. Fairly basic, basically. 2/4

Colour: I found Stella to be quite disappointing in the colour department, as it was slightly lacking, and it looked a bit watered-down, in essence. It edged slightly towards looking quite sickly and pale - but not pale in an attractive way, the way that a lager is supposed to look. no half-marks in this system, so it gets rounded down to 1/4

Taste: Pretty decent, and quite drinkable, all told. A bit over-hopped, and very bitter, but not in an unpleasant way. Some 'mainstream' lagers at around the 5% mark compromise taste for alcohol, but that's not so evident here, leaving it unremarkable enough to have a few pints and not get tired of it. Very little after-taste, but that probably works in its favour to a certain extent. 2/4

Overall, an easy-to-drink beer, and probably one of the best of the mass-produced, commercial lagers, actually. Stella is a viable option where choice is limited, and it's inoffensiveness would make it a good 'session' beer, if you were just out to get blootered. 

But then, I suppose that's the whole point of Stella, isn't it? 5/12

Notes

1. 'brewed in the UK', but it says 'Leuven, Belgium' all over the packaging.

2. Rule one of Bell's House: if you leave it in my house, it belongs to me. 


more info: www.stellaartois.com 

Fáilte

Just thought I'd write a quick introduction!

This blog, Bell Rates Booze, is an ongoing project to rate and review as many beers as possible. I'll also be rating other beverages as well, but mainly it'll be beer.

I have to admit... I've only recently learned to appreciate a good beer, and my 'tasting skills' probably need a bit of sharpening, but that'll hopefully happen over time. That's the main reason I'm compiling this; the more beers I try, the more I'll learn. It's all the name of education!

I'll be rating a mixture of beer types and varieties, from both the 'mainstream' brands and the smaller, or less well-known brweries. Of course, I'll probably go out of my way to sample some rare or obscure beers, just for the sake of variety... and so I can appear to be knowledgeable by name-checking things most people have probably never heard of.

Beverages will be rated on Smell, Colour and Taste, and scored out of 4 on each of these categories. This method will give a total score out of 12. the SCT scores will take several factors into account, depending on the style of beer, but will mainly come down to a wholly subjective 'do I like it?' question.

In addition, reviews will note the location, the serving method and, if appropriate, the occasion. The reason for this twofold: 1. a good beer, poured badly could easily be ruined, and 2. things may seem different due to various psychological factors. As an example of this, I've had Carling from a can, and hated it... I've had a pint in a pub in Newcastle, and hated it... but had a plastic cupful at a Status Quo gig and found it bearable. Clearly, the only explanation is that Status Quo rock so much, they even make fizzy pish like Carling taste semi-decent.